


Wallflower

by theleotildathings



Category: The Flash (TV 2014), The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: Constantine Crossovers, Drama, F/M, Original Character Relationships, Original Female Characters - Freeform, Romance, arrow crossovers, legends of tomorrow crossovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 08:09:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14890781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theleotildathings/pseuds/theleotildathings
Summary: Barry Allen couldn't take any more death. Destruction. Pain. He had to try harder for all the people he's failed. So when his old classmate is down in a puddle of blood because of him, he does just that. 8 months later when Ella Peterson wakes up from a coma, she has powers, enemies, & (weirdest of all) friends. She's not the same girl she was before she died. She's now the Bolt.





	1. Pre-Destruction of Reverse Flash

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! This is my first story on here. It's one I've been writing for a couple years on FF.net (I'm AMessOfADreamerx) and since I finally gave in to signing up on here, I thought I would post it! It will feature crossover chapters with Arrow, Legends of Tomorrow, and Constantine. Supergirl is in the works, but I can't confirm it quite yet. ;)
> 
> I hope you like it! Let me know in the comments. <3

Blood highlighted her dark hair red. It pooled around her head and fell like rain on a window from her lips. She laid still with a shuddering chest as her failing lungs tried to do what they were created for—to breathe. But there was a bullet hole causing the air to escape as soon as it entered. She was past the point of pain though, her eyes staring unblinkingly into truly the love of her life, as she knew she was dying, and he's all she's ever loved.

Even though he was dressed in red and yellow leather suit that covered most of his face, she knew who it was. As a wallflower, she knew who everyone was, but there had always been something different about him that he never outgrew. That she always saw, that she always loved.

So she knew the moment the pictures of him starting surfacing on Iris' blog. But just like every other thing she knew, she kept it tucked away in her mind, never to be uttered out loud.

She closed her eyes.

He was worth dying for.

One last breath escaped her chest and she fell into a never-ending pit of darkness.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ella. Ella Grace Peterson. In the instant it took to blink his eyes, the Flash ran through the memories of his childhood school mate. More than often, she was by herself. Always there, but always just outside of whatever was going on. An armed pressed a book to her then-whole chest. Her eyes constantly explored the room and when they met another pair, explored the soul.

Her brown hair curled around her face and her bangs fell just above her glasses and it was hard not to notice her when she walked into the room. She never thought anyone noticed her, but he did. Not because he was in love with her, oh no he was too blinded by Iris, but because she was always calm and quiet and there. And to him, that spoke louder than words.

Of course she was there for him now. Oh, Ella. Her eyes fell shut and he felt cheated that that could possibly be the last time he saw them.

"Barry," her last breath barely forming the word. The corner of her lips turned up in a slight smile and his breath caught as the hand he hadn't realized he was holding fell away.

Of course she knew. Ella always knew. His eyes slid shut and he didn't move. Time, normally passing too fast, stopped.

And when Barry opened his eyes, he didn't see Ella there anymore. He saw his mother. He didn't save her and it ate away his soul. The back of his eyes began to burn.

But then anger filled him. Barry let it happen again. He let someone else die for him. Again. He was always the coward. Never fast enough…

Barry's hand suddenly began to crackle. He stared at them for a moment in a dazed expression. What are they doing now? His dazed look quickly turned into horror as static sparked from his hands and began zapping Ella. He tried to back away and break the connection, but it just kept coming before turning into a single, sizzling thread of light- of lightning, so bright that it made Barry's eyes ache. It began flowing under her skin, causing her glow just as bright as a lightning bolt.

Finally, in a last ditch effort, Barry used his speed to break away. With a loud pop and a heavy stinging in the air, he finally pulled the connection away, but not without leaving a smoking trail behind him. Cautiously, he returned to Ella's body, but kept his distance. It was like her blood was on white-hot fire and she grew so bright, Barry couldn't even look at her.

She was going to explode. It was going to be too much for her delicate skin and in seconds she won't be in one piece and it'd be all Barry's fault.

He truly couldn't do anything right.

The light overtook her and Barry fell to his knees in despair. Ella had died for him and now he was destroying her body and it all was just a little too much. His eyes shut as white light pierced them and soon he was engulfed in the lightning soon to explode from her body.

And then in one big whoosh, the light sucked itself back into Ella and this time the air cackled with static electricity. She jerked like she was being shocked and a gasp escaped her.

Barry rushed to her side and pulled the top of her shirt away, where a pale jagged line replaced what was once a gaping bullet hole. Ella breathed evenly now, but didn't open her eyes.

Cold terror ran through him now. What had he done?

"Ella? Ella, can you hear me?" Barry finally said, barely speaking above a whisper.

Suddenly his friend's voices bursted through his ears.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Barry! Talk to me, man," Cisco yelled, his fingers pulling on his long hair. He forgot to breathe as he waited for his friend's answer.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Caitlin asked, her voice taut with worry. "Ella? Who's Ella? … Barry?" Her lips pursed and her body stood rigid. Even when she heard him take a long breath, she didn't allow herself to relax.

"Guys…" Barry began in a tone of disbelief but he trailed off, and dread filled their stomachs, and he stuttered out, "I just- I just brought her back to life."


	2. The Day She Died

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ella Peterson is introduced and the day she died is told.

Nobody could have prevented Ella from dying really. Well, other than the person who shot her, of course. Barry could think "oh I wasn't fast enough" all he wanted but she would never blame him. It's her own fault, really, for being the way she was. There are things she can blame him for, but surely not for her dying that first time.

The day hadn't started any different from any other day. Ella had her routine going. Sleep, coffee, books. Repeat.

She saw Barry most mornings at Jitters. He often stood in line with Cisco, with his animated face and warm eyes. He always gave Ella a reason to smile, even if they've never really spoken. Sometimes Barry came with Caitlin, with her rigid posture but sweet smile. She cared so much for the people in her life and it made Ella so glad people like that existed.

As for Ella herself, she sat in a comfy chair, tucked in the corner of the cozy coffee shop. It isn't just Barry and his friends that she watches, though it was the highlight of her day. It's really everybody that walks in between 8-8:30am. It's the girl named Marissa that comes in every morning before school with a bright smile but sad eyes because her mother is in the hospital. Or Jim from the car shop a block over with a stern face but is in the middle of his wife divorcing him. How does Ella know these things? No one tells her, but fading into the background is a talent of hers. Her little corner is where angry phone calls or private conversations are taken.

Why does she listen like this? Well, what else was she going to do? She didn't connect well with others. Ella was quiet around people she didn't know, but could never get to the point of actually knowing the person. She was always friendly to everyone she encountered, but nothing ever made it to a personal level. Often times past the "hi, how are you's" and the "fine, thank you's", she's at a loss of words. It's like her brain flat lines all activity and she couldn't even speak her name.

So she just listens instead. It also gives her comfort… she'll tell herself because she listens when no one thinks anyone is listening, maybe somebody was listening to her when she thought no one was. Maybe somebody has connected with her but she just hasn't met them yet because they're just as quiet as her.

Or maybe she's doomed to live in the loft above her work with Leonardo DiCatprio; her brown tabby cat, currently the only man in her life. Ella is an only child, sees her parents on holidays, and somehow she's managed to hold on to some friends from the year she spent away at college, but only a text here and there, before dropping out and returning home when her grandmother died.

Her grandma, Adeline Winters had been a loving women. Always so patient with crinkly laugh lines around her eyes and arms always ready for a hug. Ella adored her. Grandma never pressured her to be more open or to speak when she didn't want to. She was always encouraged to have a book in her hands when she was at Grandma's, which wasn't particularly hard considering Grandma had owned a bookstore, passed down from her father before her. In the summer before 9th grade, Ella got a job there and spent every waking and not at school moment there, all the way up before the day she left for college at 19.

Ella had no idea how Grandma could produce someone like her mother but she somehow did. Maybe her mom took after her father, who Ella never met. Grandma always encouraged her to follow her dreams, her mother always encouraged to find a job that made the most money. And working at Addy's Bookstore was not where she was going to make the most money.

It was the saddest day of Ella's life when her grandmother died. Her mother called her right before her morning class started and she dropped everything and left, and never came back. Grandma left her the bookstore and encouraged her yet again to follow her dreams with a special note she keeps locked away in her apartment. So she dropped out, took a business class at the community college, and the rest is history.

Not many 24 year olds can say they own a successful bookstore in Central City, but she was happy she could.

So 8-8:30am was coffee/people watching. Then 9am-8pm was books. Two hours of free time till 10pm that normally consisted of takeout and Netflix, and then there was sleep till 6am, and her day started over again.

But the night she died her free time was her tied to a chair in an empty room, with cuts streaking blood down her face and dripping down her arms. A now-painted red blade was held comfortably in the hand of a masked figure, and they sliced another tiny slit in her whenever she screamed "I don't know!" when asked, "Who is the Flash!?"

There was just one piece missing from the equation, one thing she wasn't able to understand. Somehow someone knew that she knew Barry's secret but the thing is, nobody knew that she knew. Nobody. Ella is a good secret keeper; always has and always will. She hadn't uttered one word to anybody about the identity of the Flash, not even to Iris, who sometimes stops by the bookstore.

So how did they know?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

All Wells/Eobard/whatever you wanted to call him wanted was to get back to his time and that was all he would exchange for telling Barry how to time travel back in time to save his mother. Except when he went back in time to do it, the future him slowed down just long enough to shake his head no, and then take past him out of the room, and down the street to safety. Which left him alone with his mother and he got to be the last thing she saw before dying.

Barry didn't save her. It haunted him every day and every night. He was right there and didn't save her. And it wasn't more than an hour later that someone else he loved died and he couldn't save him. He was suppose to be a superhero. He was suppose to save people. But if he couldn't save the people closest to him, then what was the point?

It was quiet in the lab today. All there was to hear was Cisco typing away at the computer. Barry really didn't know what he was doing here, but it was better than at home with his family, who never asked them, but looked at him with questions in their eyes. Somehow Cisco could look at him with no questions. He wasn't sure how his friend understood, but he was sure that's where he wanted to be just then. Barry did have plans of actually doing something, some training, anything, but all he could muster was to just stand there, trapped in memories.

And then there was a beep at one of Cisco's computers and his typing stopped. "Barry, there's a kidnapping at Addy's Bookstore, the one-the one in front of Jitters, and oh! Hold on…" The typing began again, more frantic this time, and he spoke again, "Ella Peterson. Tracking her phone… there it is. Man, this seems like a trap. There is a clean cut trail to where she is."

Barry was already dressed as the Flash when he leaned over the computer to look at the file at the screen and the map of the city below. A green dot flashed right outside of town. He knew Ella… "I went to school with her, Cisco. She—" He wasn't even sure what he was going to say about her, but his phone vibrated on the table where he left it, and he went over to check it.

It was an unread message from Joe. _Turn on the news. I'm tied up at the station with this. We need to know your next move._

After repeating the text to Cisco, he brought up the station on his computer. The broadcast was in the middle of a video, one featuring a masked man and an electronically deep voice. How original.

"… We've made it easy for the Flash to come find us… not so much for anyone else. However if the Flash decides his life is worth more than this friend of his… well, we do know we have plenty more to choose from. Some of these people are average Joe's, some stand out like irises among dandelions. Others, the brains behind the Flash's success. But we figure we won't need to take such drastic measures. We figure Ella Peterson will be enough."

Barry stiffened at the threats of his friends. His average Joes and Irises among dandelions. His brains. He ran a hand over his head.

"I don't know whether I should be freaked out or honored as being recognized as the brains…" Cisco said drily.

"I've always worried for you and Caitlin. Iris and Joe. This is," Barry let out a sigh, trying to release the pressure on his chest, "this is my worst nightmare. But Ella doesn't know anything…"

"Well, he sure thinks so," his friend commented, eyeing the masked man on the screen.

"But like, seriously man, I see her every once in a while at Jitters or Addy's… and in school, I mean, we were cool. But we weren't friends… but she didn't seem to have any," Barry remembered out loud, perplexed. What was he walking into? Could it be possible she knew something?

"Am I a horrible person to just be relieved it's not Caitlin or Iris there right now?" Cisco asked with a slightly guilty expression.

Something panged at Barry's heart for that comment. "She was always… special. Always so sweet. Ella was just there, all the time. She rarely said a word, but there was always a smile, and that was enough."

"Well, Caitlin or Iris… or me, will be next if we don't make a move on this. What's the plan?"

"I'm going to get her," Barry replied, simply. "Find out why this jerk wants me and how it involves Ella. It definitely ends with her."

Barry quickly replied to Joe in a text message before leaving, _I'm going in._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ella's eyes rolled into her head as she tried to stay conscious. The ropes rubbing her wrists raw were pointless at this point… she couldn't feel her body. But that didn't mean she didn't feel anything, just not her body. She felt the cuts running down her arms and legs and the bruises lining her ribs and back.

They kept asking her question but she was past the point of answering. There was no thought process, she barely even remembered why she was there. There was just one image in her mind. A face. With bright eyes and an excited smile.

"Dammit!" the deep voice of her tormentor exclaimed, from a thousand miles away. There was a sudden whoosh and a gasp escaped Ella as air rushed all around her and she toppled over the ground. Her shoulder rammed into the hard ground, narrowly avoiding her head banging against the floor. The fall jolted her eyes open, but the whole room just spun out of control.

Ella didn't know how much time had past when her wrists fell out of her restraints and she was gently brought up to a sitting position. Her eyes had closed themselves again, which she had been grateful for because the world stopped spinning when they shut, but she found she had trouble opening them again. And she wanted to know what was going on now.

"Ella? Ella, can you hear me?" A voice asked, a new one—one etched with worry and concern, one that always made Ella feel wanted. His face burned in her mind but she couldn't form his name. "I'm going to get you out of here, just hold on." He tried to pick her up, but she was floppy like a rag doll, and his lanky arms had issues trying to grip her. The movement startled her into a more comprehending state. Ella let out a heavy breath and slowly opened her eyes. Barry. Barry stood before her. There was a look of confusion in his eyes and he opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted from someone behind him.

"We knew you'd come," the masked man suddenly began, "We knew the girl would bring you here. She's your weakness, isn't she, Flash? Though I got a bit worried that maybe I was getting a little ahead of myself; I don't often know the full story or when it begins, but good to know I was wrong."

Barry stiffened and carefully put her back down. He turned around to face Ella's captor and stood protectively in front of bloodied girl. "What does Ella have to do with me? She's innocent in all of this."

A look of curiosity flashed across his face. "Or perhaps I was right. The two of you haven't hooked up yet? Why'd you come running then, boy?" He asked this as an honest question, and leaned in earnestly, waiting for an answer.

The Flash didn't say anything, unsure of what to say. What this man was saying wasn't making much sense… Ella and him hook up? She's going to be his weakness? Even Ella was confused at the words coming from his mouth. It would work so much better if this situation was in reverse. Then this whole thing would make more sense.

"Who are you?" Barry decided to not answer the questions, even in the slightest.

He smirked and replied, "You can call me the Decree. Your friend Cisco will get a kick out of that, eh?"

The Flash cocked his head a moment, causing Ella to wonder if Cisco was listening in. Slowly and quietly, she pushed herself up into a sitting position, and then paused. She tried to be patient as the world spun and tried to right itself, but it was really getting annoying.

Barry was feeling annoyed as well, but probably for different reasons. His voice was tight as he said, "So, what's your deal? Couple years ago, did you get hit by a bright light?"

Degree laughed out loud this time. "That particle explosion you speak of was only a means to an end. This was destined. Just as you were to get your powers, I was to get mine. There is just one thing Fate has kept from me. One thing, and I tend to find out before your night is over."

Shrugging, the Flash quipped, "You surely aren't learning anything new from me." He'd had just enough of this and wanted this threat to his friends to be locked away.

"Oh, but it's so easy. Just a few little words and your friend here walks free," Degree taunted, like he stood a chance at defeating Barry, but if the prophecy was the only thing going for him, they could be out of here in two seconds flat. Though he knew better than to underestimate him. "Just tell me your name."

"Or I could just grab Ella and go," Barry replied after a pause. All of this, for his name? No way.

A hand clamped down on Ella's mouth, startling a scream out of her that got stuck in her throat. An arm wrapped around her body and jerked her to her feet, holding her in a tight grip.

"Oh, I forgot to mention one thing. Ella may leave, but you're not getting out of this alive," Decree said, with mock chagrin. Immediately, Barry turned around to Ella and another man, this time not masked, but he held her like a shield. His face was lined with jagged scars and his lips formed a thin line. He held a gun to her head.

The split second Barry took to plan his next move, to wonder if he was fast enough to grab Ella before the man shot her, but turns out this new player was also a quick thinker, or perhaps this was all part of his plan. With a flick of his eyes, the ropes that had once tied Ella's hands to a chair, were repaired and snaking their way around his legs, and with a sudden jerk, Barry was face down on the floor.

Ella's eyes widened and she bit her tongue from screaming out his name. He was sitting up in an instant, but the more he pulled at the ropes around his legs, the more they dig into them. A soft cry of pain escaped his lips before his hands fell away.

"Enough with the games, Carter. Fate withheld this from you with no doubt a purpose. It would be in your best interest not to test her," the sorcerer warned, before adding, "The Flash's identity isn't of importance to you anymore, as any future you saw of him will be obsolete."

He let Ella go and she fell to her knees. The cold terror running through her body sharpened her mind and when the room began to tilt, she still forced herself to stand. She blinked repeatedly till the three men in the room were on the floor and not on the ceiling.

The scarred man took a deliberate step towards Barry, and Ella frantically searched the room for something to use as a weapon. The closest thing was the metal chair that she had been tied to.

The next couple seconds/minutes/hours happened so fast and slowly all at once that Ella could never give an exact answer as to what happened.

But she lifted the chair and jabbed one of the legs into the man's back. He crumpled to the floor, but managed to wave a hand, slinging the chair against the wall. The impact caused the gun to hit the ground with a resonating clatter.

Decree and Ella both made a dive for it, but somehow she gripped it first. Rolling away, she stumbled to her feet, and aimed for the person coming at her with a vengeance. Without a second thought, she pulled her finger back and a bullet shot out, hitting the sorcerer with a loud crack. He flew back, hitting the ground, and the sound rang in her ears.

Ella stood there, frozen. Horrified at what she had done. She was not a killer, a murderer. She couldn't breathe. And the price of that mistake took her life away. For Decree was all of those things, and he quickly overcame her.

He stole the gun from her hand and turned towards Barry who was still struggling with the ropes. Now embedded, he cut the rope to at the very least separate his legs with a vibrating hand. But he didn't know Decree was coming for him yet.

Ella did though and she loved him. Iris loved him. Joe loved him. Cisco and Caitlin. The world would be something terrible without Barry.

The world would not be something terrible without her.

"Nooo!" the word escaped her lips as she caught up with Decree. As she dove in front of Barry, as the other man aimed a shot for the love of her life's heart.

As he pulled the trigger.

She expected pain. For a quarter of a second, she did feel it, but when she hit the ground, her body went cold.

The blood dripping from her lips was warm. The same warmth that filled her chest.

"Barry…" the sweet name was the last thing one her lips, causing them to upturn. At least Ella's final thoughts will be of him.

She shut her eyes as they became too heavy to keep open. But Barry's face will forever be etched in her mind.

The warmth in her mouth and the warmth around her heart engulfed her body and then

she

forgot

There wasn't anything now. No thoughts, no time, no feelings, no sights. Nothing. Nothing to see.

Until there was. There was a bright light and it rose from the bottom to the top like a sunrise.

White. Whitewhitewhitewhite.

And then there was burning. It grew and faded and shifted and changed and turned into something else. The burning turned into cold, sudden shocks, all throughout her body. Ping ping ping ping.

With a sudden whoosh, the white and the shocks pulled out of her body, taking a long gasp of air with it. Blackness overcame her yet again, but it was different this time. It was't... endless.

Her lungs had begun working again.

"Ella? Ella, can you hear me?" The words echoed, like the voice was down the a long hall, and was yelling so she could hear.

"Guys… I just- I just brought her back to life."

The darkness didn't leave Ella. From then on, sometimes she heard voices. A female voice, a male voice.

A special voice.

But there was no thought process. Just feeling, especially when Special Voice spoke.

Then female voice turned into Caitlin and male voice was Cisco.

And special voice was Barry. Ella began remembering. The more she remembered, the more she heard. The more aware she was.

Soon she felt her chest rise and fall. She felt someone holding her hand. And she remembered words that were spoken.

That were meant for her, but not for her to hear. But what's too new with that?

Ella was alone when her eyes finally opened. She blinked repeatedly and breathed so deeply she felt lightheaded.

And then she felt the skin above her heart. She felt the puckered scar and before she wondered too much longer about what was going on, Caitlin walked into the room.

"Oh! I saw the spike in your vitals. Ella, you must have so many questions, but I want you to know you're safe here," She said as she rushed over to Ella.

"Is…" Ella tried to speak, but her voice came out as a croak. She cleared her voice and tried again, "Is Barry okay?" Her voice was still hoarse, but it did it's job.

The other girl bit her lip and thought a moment. "Decree didn't hurt him, thanks to you." There was an edge in Caitlin's voice that made Ella feel like she wasn't getting the whole story.

"… has someone else hurt him?" Ella asked in a weak voice.

"Yes," Caitlin barely breathed the word, caught up in memory of 'that night'.

"You've truly picked a damn good time to wake up, Ella," Cisco said, strolling into the room.

"What happened to Barry?" Ella persisted, panic building where a bullet hole should have been.

"There is man that has speed like Barry… and he's got power like you can't even imagine," Caitlin finally answered in a soft voice, unable to meet her eyes.

Cisco gave Ella a hard look. "We'll explain but first, let's see how you're fairing. Some… interesting stuff has happened while you were out."

"Like what?"

"Look down at your hands," He said, pointing with his chin, and she did.

Ella's eyes shone with horror as she brought her hands up. Her fingertips sparked. Little white streaks popped out and she didn't know what to do.

"These are harmless, don't worry," Caitlin quickly assured.

Though Cisco was quick to say, "It's the ones that come from not your fingertips that aren't."

Which of course didn't help the situation. He knew immediately from Ella's wide eyes.

"But don't worry, those right there are harmless," He quickly said.

Ella just turned her eyes back to her fingers. What is happening to her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, second chapter is up! Posting all 11 on here tonight. Halfway through writing the 12th chapter... I'll keep you posted ;)
> 
> let me know what you think!


	3. Waking Up To A New World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry tries to come to terms what he did to Ella. Ella tries to comprehend her new life with superpowers.

It really was seeming like Ella would ever wake up. Sometimes she sparked and sometimes lightning caught equipment on fire but never did her eyes open. The world outside hers fell apart and realigned and fell apart again. The "falling apart again" being when Zoom so easily overcame him, so easily brought him to the brink of death, and then preceded to parade it all over the city, holding Barry by the neck, like he was nothing more than a rag doll.

When he shut his eyes, images of him broken replaced images of his mother broken, and he didn't know which was worse… images of absolute terror or images of absolute heartbreak.

Since waking up in the hospital wing of the lab a couple days after the fight with Zoom, and remembering what had taken place, Barry wasn't sure he was ever going to walk again. He would never be this truthful with anyone, but he almost didn't want to walk again.

But he did. In the two week since the fight, he's gone from bedridden to wheelchair, then graduated from wheelchair to a cane. Now he's at a rather normal state, which for anyone else would be great, but since he's normally far from normal, it isn't. But super speed aside, he can walk, though rather stiffly; as his bones aren't 100% knitted back together yet.

Ella wasn't healing the same way. No one was able to comprehend what he did to her; not even Harry, and Jay hasn't been around to offer his input (Barry wasn't sure if these new friends of his fell into the 'realigning' or 'falling apart' bit of the last couple months).

They could get more answers if she would open her eyes, but every time Barry came in and sat with her, they didn't move. She didn't move. Things around her did, but she stayed the same. Though he didn't know if her ears worked, he talked to her a lot. He felt silly at first, like speaking to her was just the same as speaking to himself, but it wasn't. Or it felt like it wasn't. Each time Barry came to visit her, words flowed naturally out of his mouth, all the words containing the fears, the worries, and the self-doubt.

Even if she wasn't unconscious, Barry thought Ella would listen just the same. He could imagine her eyebrows knitting together in concern or her sweet voice giving him encouragement. He always saw how kind she was to people; in school and now, how she tried to make everyone feel wanted.

Sometimes Barry did just quietly watched her, mulling over what Decree has said pertaining to Ella and him. Decree always wanted control, always wanted the upper hand, and when the particle accelerator exploded, he got just that. The knowledge of the future. Though he spoke of it being Fate as if she was an actual being he has met, it didn't change the fact he got what he wanted: control. He knew how to control Barry before Barry even knew she was a thing that could control him.

Ella was also someone who had control and the upper hand, but she didn't long for it. She never used it for manipulation or to get what she wanted. She used it to give other people what they wanted. Even now, in a coma and unable to consciously do it, she was there for Barry.

And if he wasn't pondering over their future together or running from his nightmares, Barry was thinking about how she could possibly know his secret. He'd never forget how his name was to be her last breath. He'd never forget the small smile that overtook her face before life left her body. He'd never forget the life leaving her body and how he yet again stole someone's future away…

Except he didn't. How did he give it back to her?

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I know you want to go and see your family, your bookstore, but there are still so many things that are so uncertain. It would be best if you stayed here a little while longer. We need to make sure you're in control and we could really run some more tests…" Caitlin spoke in a gentle voice and Ella wanted to listen, for all she was saying was out of concern for her, but Ella just needed everything to be normal.

She needs to cuddle her cat, Leo. She needs to call her parents. She needs to feel the rough texture of a hardback book in her hands and have the smell of new pages overcome her. But most of all, she needs her fingers to stop tingling. She needs the random lightning bolts dropping from the ceiling to cease. She needs the jagged scar across her chest to be gone.

And it's really hitting Ella hard that she really shouldn't be needing anything. That the hole where the bullet pierced her lung should still be there. That she should hidden under a pile of dirt in a black coffin, covered in flowers, and a gravestone that said 'Ella Grace Peterson, beloved daughter, granddaughter, and mother to her cat'.

But instead she was trying to remember how to breathe as Caitlin listed all the things they needed to do before she could leave. Before she could go back to her normal life.

Things will never be the same. Ella squeezed her eyes shut with that thought and then followed up with, "But I still have to try to make it that way."

"I'm sorry, what?" Caitlin broke off her spiel to understand Ella's random outburst.

"I can't do this. I can't not be normal. I don't… I don't care, I just can't," Ella tried to explain herself but the words kept getting jumbled up. She repeated, "I just can't," before bolting out of the medical room.

She turned a corner, and then another. And another and another. It wasn't long before her legs decided to give up and she collapsed to the ground, letting out a sob.

The air around Ella began to cackle and became heavy with electricity. Another sob fell out but it wasn't the only unexpected thing. Suddenly a blinding lightning bolt struck the ground beside her and she flinched back against the wall. Another hit the ground in front of her. Ella's vision swam in and out of view as she looked in horror at the scorched marks left on the otherwise white, unblemished tile. What was wrong with her?

What did Barry do to her?

As if she imagined him there, he just appeared. "Ella, hey—"

"Barry, leave me. I can't- I can't control it, it just k-k-keeps coming…" Her teeth chattered alongside the cold terror that ran through her body. Her panicked eyes met his.

"You're wrong. You can control it," Barry knelt down next to her and spoke gently, "Take a slow breath…" He instructed, but Ella couldn't move. She was paralyzed by her fear. "Ella, listen to me. Take a slow breath, count to five."

She tried but her "slow breath" was a short, gasping one. All of her "slow breaths" were short, gasping ones.

"Slower. Slower…" He repeated after each breath with a soothing hand on her leg, and his calm voice slowly warmed her up. "Slower… one, two, three, four, five. Now hold it, five more seconds."

The knot in her chest began to unravel as she followed his directions.

"And breathe out. One, two, three, four, five."

Ella didn't know how long she sat in that hall with Barry squatting beside her. She didn't know when he stopped speaking but his low voice still played in her ear. The crackling air began to dissipate and the panic left her, leaving her exhaustedly confused.

"Barry, what happened?" She finally asked in a quiet voice and he flinched like Ella had screamed at him.

"Ella, I'm so sorry," Barry replied, voice breaking. "I have no idea… I just- I've just seen so much death, and I just keep failing in protecting the people I love. I don't deserve them. I don't deserve you. I don't know how you connect in to all of this…" He tried to explain but this whole mess was a jumbled bunch of thoughts in his mind. He didn't know where to begin.

Ella let out a bitter laugh. "That freak who took me surely knew how I was connected to all of this." She thought back to his comments about her and Barry. Could her wildest dreams actually come true? "He was a seer. He could predict the future."

Barry nodded slowly, and Ella got a heavy feeling he was holding something back. "What are you not telling me?"

He hesitated, knowing neither him nor Ella would know what would set her off in a panic attack again. "Decree got away," he finally admitted, causing Ella to close her eyes again.

Count to five.

Repeat.

The man who shot her, but was after Barry, was still lose? There was a target on both of their backs!

"You had just gotten shot and I went to you, and then… then static filled the air and I started zapping you with lightning bolts from my fingers. I don't know but it like, took hold, and we were connected by one lightning bolt. It was massive, powerful. Whatever happened then, is what gave you these," He paused, voice laced with guilt, as he tried to find the right word, "Powers."

"Powers…" Ella echoed faintly, eyes still shut. "They don't feel like powers. They feel… like a curse."

It was Barry's turn to shut his eyes. "Don't say that," he whispered in a broken voice. "God, Ella, I'm so sorry."

She opened her eyes to look at him and took one last deep breath, and then she did what she always did: make the hurt disappear. "Barry, don't be. It… it's my fault. I knew too much. I always know too much. I always see things I shouldn't and I always have the burden of a secret on my heart. My bullet-free heart." It was Ella's turn to get choked up, even though she was just trying to comfort him. "You saved my life, Barry. It was because of your secret I was kidnapped, but it was my knowledge of it that got me in trouble, and it was you that saved me from dying. Thank you, because of that I can hug my cat, I can read my books, and I can see my parents. And I'm pretty sure I gained a few friends, because I'm not letting you guys out of my sight for a bit. Not till we figure this out."

"I don't want you out of my sight…" Barry said quietly, making Ella look away. "I promise I will help you through this, no matter who is to blame here. Cisco and Caitlin are so smart and they've been dealing with me for a while now. They can help you too, and then Harry… it's a bit complicated where Harry's involved but I think his intentions are good. And you know Iris and Joe… they're part of this too. You'll never be alone, Ella."

She took a long, slow breath before pushing herself up. "That's quite a promise, Barry," Ella warned, but she was fighting a smile.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Back in the medical room, Ella sat in a hospital bed. She stared blankly ahead as Caitlin carefully drew blood from her arm. Tears burned her eyes and her heart pounded, but with Barry holding her other hand, she managed not to strike anyone down. Though if given the choice, she'd probably strike herself down. For she had been watching when Caitlin first began and instead of the vial filling with red when the needle pierced her skin, it filled with silver.

"Oh. Wow," Caitlin muttered in surprise before catching Ella's horrified eyes, "I've seen weirder things, trust me, Ella." A soft smile appeared in comfort on Barry's friend's face and he took that moment to come from leaning on the glass wall and join in trying to calm Ella down.

"It looks like lightning, which you seem to have a talent with. Just a side effect," Barry reasoned, but sat next to her and squeezed her hand just the same, because the light had left Ella's eyes, causing any hope in his to flicker. She didn't say a word for the next couple minutes.

Nor did Ella say a word when Caitlin finished, and she didn't say a word as she followed them out of the med room to the lab room, where Cisco leaned over a computer, bringing up all her old medical files as the new samples loaded.

"So you nearly killing us in your coma aside, this power of yours is pretty cool," Cisco commented, nonchalantly, to Ella. "I mean, being able to control lightning? Kind of classic superhero power. But I feel like 'Lightning' as a superhero name would be kinda lame. Plus we can't add like doctor, because you weren't a doctor. Though Dr. Lightning does actually sound pretty sweet…"

Cisco rambled on, unaware that Ella's brown eyes grew wider and wider, so Barry cut him off, "Hey Cisco, buddy, I feel like we're getting a bit ahead of ourselves."

"What?" Cisco finally looked up and saw Ella's expression, "Ohhh. Okay." The moment grew awkward as no one knew what to say next, causing Ella to rub her eyes.

"I feel like such a fragile thing. Like I could crack at any second, and I really, really don't want to be," Ella said as her hands fell back to her side. "So stop treating me as something breakable. If you guys can act like I am, then I can act like I am, and maybe one day I can believe it too."

Two things happened in that next moment that caused the team to not reply to Ella's plea: the computer closes to where Caitlin sat dinged, signaling bloodwork was done. She immediately began to analyze the report.

"This is insane…" She mumbled, lost in Ella's silver blood results.

Simultaneously, the computer closed to Cisco beeped, signaling something amok in the city. He squinted at the screen as he read the police report, causing Cisco to swallow.

"Kidnapping with a ransom. Location: the saw mill right outside of town," He debriefed, but before Barry could even say 'on it', a yelp escaped from Ella.

Turning to her, Barry saw in his slow motion way of his, her skin burning white and melting into a jagged streak, bolting to the ceiling. And then she was gone.

Static sizzled in the air, a common repercussion of when Ella's lightning is used.

"Okay, yeah. That was pretty awesome," Cisco said in awe, though while, all right, it had been rather breathtaking, terror filled Barry more than anything.

Because Ella was gone. Disappeared in a lightning bolt through the ceiling.

Where did she go?


	4. Fighting For Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ella finds she has the power of teleportation and wounds up at a kidnapping. However, instead of helping, she loses control, and Barry arrives too late to help her. He comes to the realization he really doesn't know Ella and at the end of a long day, she is greeted by unexpected, and very scary, guest.

Ella was pretty dang scared when suddenly her body tingled and she shot through the ceiling when Cisco mentioned the saw mill and it appeared in her mind's eye.

But 'pretty dang scared' went to 'piss your pants terrified' in two seconds flat. Maybe subconsciously, she thought, I've been there, they need help, get them out… but that hadn't necessary meant she wanted to be the one to help them and get them out. Ella couldn't even control her fingertips from sparking, why would her subconscious want to take on a group of kidnappers when she'd just woken up from a coma from being kidnapped?

Well, either way, that's what happened next. One minute Ella is worriedly eyeing Cisco, and the next, she's on her knees behind a bunch of men with guns, and four kids curled on the floor. An unexpected giggle threatened to bubble out of her because she didn't know who was more shocked she was there: them or Ella, but look on their faces was a funny sight to see, even in these current circumstances.

"She's here!" Someone finally yelled, "Get her! Alive, he wants her alive!" And they all pounced on little, untrained Ella and she was frozen in place like a deer caught in headlights.

"Oh, crap," She muttered as her mind raced to find a way out of this situation. As in many other times in her life, though normally they were when someone said something funny and she wanted to have a witty response, but instead her brain flat lines all activity, and she's left with even her name threatening to float from her mind.

Unfortunately for all involved, Ella went into her new-found survival mood, and she will regret the next couple minutes for the rest of her life.

As one man charged at her, a lightning bolt fell from the ceiling, striking him with a pop. He fell down, crying out in pain, as the sizzling of flesh echoed in Ella's ears. But that didn't stop her fingers from shooting out direct bolts of lightning, hitting each person that tried to take the fallen man's place.

Her whole body began tingling with power and Ella found she liked it. It was a warm burn and it didn't forcibly take over, it slowly grew till she wanted it. Till Ella craved it and she easily gave in.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"She just… just bolted out of here! Like a literal steak of lightning bolt, not like super speed bolt. Ella went through the ceiling!" Cisco tried to recap the incident to Harry, though his fanboy excitement took over his voice, rather than concern for his new friend's safety. He realized that, a bit too late. "We're all very worried where she could be now," he added in a more somber voice.

Harry just pursed his lips, shooting Cisco a look he was used to: are you serious? "What was going on before she bolted out?" Harry asked with an impassive face. He stared intently at Cisco as he thought back to what was happening.

"Ella was... asking to be treated normal, and then I beeped for the Flash, and Caitlin dinged for the finished blood results," Cisco answered, eyebrows furrowing as he recounted.

"Maybe she went to the saw mill to help with the kidnapping. Ella does have personal experience in that," Barry suggested, remembering finding Ella tied up to a chair that had fallen over. He took a breath to stop all memories from that night to come flooding in.

"That does seem most logical," Caitlin put in with a thoughtful voice, pushing the bloodwork out of her mind for the moment. She can explain what she found later when Ella is safe and sound. It wasn't a pressing matter like the situation at hand.

"I have to go there anyways… keep a look out for spikes in static electricity. I'm on my way," Barry said, and then he was running full force to the other side of town. The worry of what he was going to find once he got there ate away in his mind. He wasn't there to help her stay in control… what if she lost it?

Outside the mill was eerily quiet and Barry padded softly in. "I'm here," He whispered to his friends back in the lab. "Something seems… off."

"Stay on your guard, Barry, and keep us posted," Harry's voice came through his earpiece. Barry didn't reply, as a low noise hit his ears. He carefully continued on, but his steps got more frantic the deeper he got in the building, as the low noise got louder and shriller. His blood ran cold when he realized it was screaming. Someone was screaming.

Barry flew in the room then and found three children surrounded by a lot of burned bodies. He swallowed.

Ella lost control.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ella's lightning high crashed too long after the last bad guy was killed. She was still on high alert when one of the kids came running towards her and the lightning bolt shot from her hands before she even registered that it was a child running at her.

Somewhere in Ella's mind knew fighting the men was self-defense and it was the same part of her mind that told her this was wrong.

The scream that came from the kid shut Ella down immediately and after letting out a scream of her own, she managed to break the connection with a resounding crack. The child- a boy, fell limp on the ground.

It took a painstaking long moment to realize the boy had stopped screaming and it was now coming out of Ella's mouth.

"Oh my God, Ella…" A voice startled her from behind, but she was drained now. Whoever came now should just kill her. She was out of control.

_OhmyGodEllaohmyGodEllaohmyGodElla_

Ella didn't know if she was thinking that or screaming that or if maybe Barry was yelling it at her, but that's all she heard.

Barry was always there, for the good and the bad. And the ugly.

Everyone would be safer if she wasn't around and this time she thought, _take me from here_ , and her body listened to her.

When Ella hit the ground again, she was in the woods outside the mill. She knew Barry could take care of the children till the police came. She could already hear the sirens.

 _Murderer_ , her mind whispered to her. _Murderer_. Murder was worse than kidnapping and Ella thought they had deserved to die.

But no matter what she thought, she was scared.

Of the men she killed. Of the parents of the little boy she burned. Of Barry. Cisco. Caitlin.

She was scared to live. She was scared to die. She was scared to be alone.

Ella stumbled over to a tree and slid down it to sit. Pulling her knees to her chin, she covered her eyes and cried.

In every way in this situation, she was a coward.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Flash!" cried a small, shaky voice. The curled up children suddenly came alive and pushed their way to their feet. Barry met the kids where they stood.

He took a breath through his mouth before he could say calmly, "Are you guys hurt?"

They shook their heads while one replied, "No, but the boy over there was hit by lightning!" He pointed over to the pile of men. Barry didn't realize before that one of the bodies was much smaller than the rest.

He took another breath.

"You guys stay right here. Everything will be okay," Barry said, though for him everything didn't feel okay. Hitting the men with lightning bolts was one thing, but a child? How did that happen? He used his super-speed to check out the unmoving boy. His visible skin was pink and raw.

Slowly, for he was scared for what he was going to find, Barry placed two fingers on the kid's fleshy neck, but flinched away when a scream escaped the boy.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Barry cried, and the boy started gasping. "Stay still, buddy, it's going to be okay."

"Hurts" was all the child could mumble, causing Barry to wince with sympathy pain.

"I know, buddy. Stay still, it's going to be okay," Barry tried to comfort before putting a hand to his mouth in horror. "Help is almost here. Can you hear them?" The sirens were audible in the building now.

The boy didn't say anything and Barry just looked at him.

A little voice whispered in his mind, _she did just wake up_ and _she has no idea how to control her powers_ but at the sight before him, a louder voice overpowered that one by saying, _but how well do you know Ella?_ Maybe her soul-exploring eyes, maybe her sweet personality, was just all an act. He should listen the voice of reason rather than the voice of doubt, but logic isn't a strong point when you're scared of your future. And he was scared silly.

Barry's thoughts got cut off at the sound of the CCPD entering the building. He shook his head to clear his head and focus at the task at hand. Very carefully, he picked up the boy, and used his super-speed to take him to the hospital, only pausing for a millisecond to tell Joe what he was doing.

Once the child was in safe hands, he quickly swung back around to find Ella. However, after locating her curled up against a tree, he found he couldn't even look at her.

Barry swore to use his powers for good, but Ella had no allegiance. Even though her cries and crumpled body told another story, he let these dark thoughts of her pool in and takeover, because for a moment, he was tired of trusting people. He was so tired of getting hurt… of the people he loved getting hurt. He was just… so tired.

What if Ella can't control her powers? She's not a meta-human created from the particular explosion, not really. Barry created her powers. Barry brought her back from the dead. Even if the Ella he knew was genuine, did coming back from the dead change her in any way?

There were people's lives at stake and if he made the wrong choice in trusting her, it was on him. Everything from the moment the lightning connected him to her was on him. So much weight threaten to collapse his shoulders.

He was tired of making the wrong choice. He was tired of people dying because of him.

But isn't that what got Barry in this situation to begin with?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ella didn't know how long had passed before she heard leaves crunch and tree limbs snap. They were going to find her, and she flinched with each step closer, but whoever was coming, which she was figuring was the police, she knew she deserved what was about to happen.

"Well, that's quite the scene back there," A male's voice began, and though it wasn't Barry's, it was a voice she knew. "Or so I hear. I couldn't really go in, nor apparently would I have wanted to..." he rambled, only in a way one person she knew does. Ella lifted her head from her legs to find Cisco, looking so normal in jeans and a dark t-shirt. Her heart already ached with regret and guilt from what already happened, but the sight of him caused her heart to twinge, momentarily doubling the pain she felt. Cisco kept his hands behind his back, no doubt concealing something to disable her. She knew she totally deserved it… but she was still totally scared.

Shakily Ella stood up, causing Cisco to take a step forward in case she fell. "Cisco, I don't… I don't even think 'I'm so sorry' cuts it." She couldn't look him in the eyes and her shoulders folded in on herself.

Cisco opened his mouth, and then closed it, figuring what he was going to say would be inappropriate in this situation. "I know," he said gently and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, which was so unexpected to her that she flinched away. "Hey, hey now, it's going to be okay."

"Why are you saying that?" Ella asked in a trembling voice, "I'm going to jail for those murders. And I deserve it, I so deserve it."

He paused, a thoughtful look passing his face. "I feel like I'm safe in assuming those men had it coming to them. Were they not attacking you, or one of the children?" Cisco asked in a rhetorical tone.

"Yeah, the men were, but—" Ella tried to say, but he interrupted her.

"You can't really be charged for murder for that, Ella. That was self-defense, and this a hostage situation. You probably saved—" Cisco continued, but she couldn't take it anymore.

"But I killed a child! Cisco, I struck him with lightning." To admit it broke Ella's heart and a sob escaped her.

"No, you didn't kill him. He is severely burn but he will be okay," Cisco reassured her quietly, and even though every inch of her ached with regret, relief fell in the mix too. Ella fell to her knees and wept, for this entire night.

"You're not expected to have this whole thing down pat, Ella. You only woke up, what, three hours ago? And then you're not even like a normal meta-human! Barry… created you. You are unique, unlike any of the metas we've encountered, and what you've done so far is you at natural talent. Sometimes you have to push your way to the extent other people start at, and sometimes your power comes out kicking and you must learn to control it. Which seems to be you. So you are going to make mistakes and you're going to learn from them," He grinned before adding, "How was that for a pep talk?"

But then he sighed and was quiet for a moment.

"But Ella, this cannot happen ever again. There are no excuses now. You need to learn how to control your powers or you need to go somewhere where you can't hurt anyone. There is no in between. Everyone at those labs, and not to mention Joe and Iris, want you to learn how to control this, and stay. We will never give up on you, but once you give up on yourself, you're a goner. Do you understand?" The playfulness that always edged Cisco's voice disappeared then, a stern tone replacing it, and Ella brought her head up, nodding tearfully.

She shakily stood up again, trying to wipe her face dry, but each tear she dried, there was another one to replace it. Cisco put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed her tight.

"Let's get back to the lab. Everyone is waiting for us back there," He paused, his eyes sweeping around the clearing. "This is being taken care of… as of right now, no one can even place you at the scene," Cisco added.

There was another pause, and with Ella's head in the crook of his neck, she could feel the muscles it took for the smile to light up the nerd's face.

"I don't suppose you want to try to test your lightning teleportation on the both of us, and get us back to STAR labs?"

The question shocked a laugh out out of her, despite the answer being a hard no.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Why didn't Barry come and get me? I know he was there… I know he saw." It took most of the car ride back for Ella to work out those words. Out of all the people she's ever met, she had trusted Barry the most to keep his promise of never leaving her alone.

Cisco hesitated before saying, "He had to meet up with police and do his day job. There are bodies… he is there." He shrugged like it was no big deal. But that's how Ella knew it was a big deal.

"Or he realized he created a monster and has the mind to know he should stay away," Ella said quietly. She stared down at her laced fingers across her lap.

Silence took over for a moment before he replied, "Ella, you're not a monster. I've met monsters. They want to like, take over the world or want revenge on someone and they'll murder in cold blood whoever is in their way. There's even been a giant ape that could speak telepathically and mind control you. That was a hard day…" Cisco trailed off for a moment, wondering what became of Grood, before finally realizing he had a point, "So I know monsters. And that's how I know you aren't one. Barry was a bit freaked out, but he will get over it. And yeah, he was really called to his day job, though it was technically evening. He's forensic for the police."

Ella heaved a long sigh. "I know. I just… if he's thinking I'm a monster, how am I suppose to think I'm not?"

"Again, you're not a monster. But we've found monsters come in the disguise of people you think you can trust. I guess that's the real monster part about them…" Cisco often thought of the vision of Dr Wells sticking a vibrating hand in his chest and killing him. He often heard the words of his mentor, the encouragement and criticism, all the things that ultimately made him a better person. Then Wells last words before killing him. Cisco had known Wells for so long, had looked up to him, had…

"Cisco?" Ella asked, cutting off his internal meltdown. She gently touched his shoulder in comfort, causing his skin to tingle, but it was a deep, warm feeling, and it with poke of feeling, it spread down his arms. She pulled her hand away when he looked at her and the ease the tingling warmth brought fell away. "Are you okay?"

He was surprised that the emptiness and the hurting that Cisco hides under silliness and immaturity somehow managed to break through. He jerked his eyes away, from the face that had just been tearstained with her own internal battles, that now was cleared away of concern for herself and replaced with worry for him. He locked his gaze on the road ahead of him before swallowing. He was relieved his heart beat returned to a normal rate and it felt like someone popped a small bubble of pressure from his chest.

"Yeah. Yeah, psh, yeah, I'm good," Cisco stumbled over the words as he put his shields of defense back up. He glanced at Ella to see if she bought it, but his thoughts didn't match how he felt anymore, and slowly they began to stop racing.

Her eyes grabbed his and he felt unexpectedly vulnerable, like maybe Ella had x-ray vision to the soul.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Caitlin knew Barry did have to go back to the mill with the CCPD to analyze the scene with Joe and Eddie, but something seemed a bit off about him. She felt like Ella should have taken more of importance to him, instead of handing off the task to retrieve her from the woods before the police found her to Cisco, who left immediately find her.

While she waited for the team to return, Caitlin took another look at Ella's blood. She eventually enlisted Harry, with the knowledge of all things Speed Force, could throw in some ideas on why her blood was silver and how she could physically turn into a lightning bolt. By the time Cisco arrived with Ella and Barry decided to show back up, she felt like she had a more of an understanding, though very limited in actual knowledge, on what was going on inside of Ella.

"So, Ella, heard you had a rough night…" Caitlin joked lamely, trying to defuse the static she was feeling in the air. She gave a small smile in greeting when she came in, not wanting to add to the guilt you could see physically weighing on the poor girl. However her scalp began to tingle and when she reached her hand up to try to rub it away, she found her hair frizzing out. Great, as if she didn't have to put enough product in it to make it as smooth as it was, now they had an emotional lightning-powered meta-human in their mist.

Ella let out a deep breath, "You could say that." Though she gave a long look at Caitlin and then her face relaxed a little, the look of guilt falling away till it just haunted her eyes. She was trying to hold it together. But then her eyes went downcast, while her body stayed rigid.

"Do you want to tell us what happened out there?" Harry asked, eyes trained on her. His voice stayed low and a bit harsh, but held no tone of judgement.

Probably because he had no room to judge, Caitlin thought to herself, but she watched as Ella's lip trembled, and she began her story.

"It hadn't been a conscious thing, wanting to help with the kidnapping, but it was more so my heart felt for them, and then my body started to tingle. I knew where the saw mill was, I could see it in my head… and then I shot through the ceiling. I don't remember much of-of the… transportation to the mill. I just felt very heavy, but very light, all at once. Powerful," She could barely breathe out the word, recounting the warmth she felt when she lost control, "but then all at once my feet were hitting the ground and I fell to my knees. I looked up and saw the men and they all turned around, guns at the ready." Ella paused a moment as it all replayed in her mind. Then her face turned thoughtful and a hand went to her mouth at this revelation: "They knew I was coming. It was a trap. They said, 'She's here! He wants her alive!'"

"What happened next?" Barry asked, sharply. Ella winced at the tone and a hurt look grew on her face, but continued.

"I didn't want them to get me. I was… I was so scared," She tried to say, but ended up burrowing her face in her hands as the memories flooded her. She spoke through her fingers, "I began tingling, but it didn't hurt. It started to warm up my body and I started to relax and… gave in. I felt disconnected. I felt… nothing at all, but the slow burn of power that went through my body, and I craved it. Crave it…" Ella trailed off before finishing, "Lightning bolts just began to zap them. From the ceiling and my fingertips," She looked down at her fingers to see them sparking again and she swallowed, "The little boy came running towards me when all the men were down, and I was in self-defense mode. As soon as I realized it was one of the kids, as soon as he screamed… it woke me up. I was connected to my body again and I could break the lightning bolt off."

"How did you do that?" Caitlin spoke in the silence that followed her story.

But all Ella could do was shrug. "I don't know."

Another silence fell over them as they processed all that she told them. Caitlin glanced at Barry, whose faced was scrunched up in thought, but his cold manner hadn't left. How could he not see that Ella needed help? With help and training, especially Barry's help and training, they could get a handle on this.

And Caitlin could tell his attitude was affecting Ella, who needed to be as calm as possible right now. It was a relief that only her hands were sparking right now, but the air was sharp with static. Who knows what was going to set her off?

"I know this was a tough evening for you, Ella, but rest assured we will help you through this," Caitlin told her, causing Ella to relax slightly.

"I have some ideas on tech that can help you control it. How would you feel about gloves and silver, Ella?" Cisco put in with a smile, "I told you we will help you with this," he added.

"I'm a goner if I give up on myself," Ella recited his words, causing Cisco's smile to beam. "I'm not going to give up on myself. I know I can use this for good. I know because of you, Barry," She finally turned to him and made eye contact, which she had tried to avoid the entire time, "You're the strongest person I know and I couldn't do this without you. Please don't hate me. I promise to make you someone to be proud of. I promise, Barry."

Barry closed his eyes, his resolve threatening to break, but he said, "Prove it to me." He opened his eyes as Ella broke contact with him, hurt now becoming a prominent feature on her face.

"Why are you acting like this, Barry?" Caitlin finally asked, striding over to him. "She doesn't know how to control this, but she's trying and she will figure it out with our help. She literally just woke up a couple hours ago. Did you know all you know now when you first came out of a coma? No! You had to push yourself for your powers to grow but she has to fight to control hers. It's a responsibility and she's going to make mistakes, as you've made many mistakes. Do you need me to remind you of yours? Because I will gladly—"

"Caitlin." Harry cut her off, giving her a pointed look, and she took a breath.

"Sorry, but this just isn't like you, Barry," Caitlin finally finished her rant, pressing a hand to her forehead and wrapping an arm around her stomach.

"That seems to me to be a good thing. 'Like me'," he threw his fingers up in air quotes, "would trust her. 'Like me' would grow close with her. 'Like me' would fall in love with her, and 'like me' will be destroyed when she betrays us and hurts all I have left!" Barry finally yelled, before pacing around a moment as the group shocked at his outburst registered what he was saying.

He said in a lower voice but he spoke fast and his words jumbled together, "I'm tired of making wrong decisions. Everyone in my life right now has been put in danger because of me. People have died because of me. Ella would have died because of me and Ella has been in my life longer than all of you and Ella is apparently my future and somehow my future keeps haunting me now and… and it's not feeling like my life. It's not feeling like I'm in control. When the future that is yet to come is attacking me now and changing me now and I haven't even done anything! Yet… I just…." He then let out a groan, pulling at his hair. "I'm trapped now, in the present, for the future I know nothing about, but everyone else seems to know all about. My future is set. I don't have a choice."

Barry dropped his hands down at his sides, staring imploringly at Ella. His mouth opened but he didn't say anything, and with his hair sticking up from where his hands were, he truly looked like a mad man.

"Barry, your future is still your choice. Decree just saw your decisions in advance…" Ella began softly, slowly walking over to him. This was a night of speeches, apparently. "The future is always there, but most people have the-the freedom of seeing it as it plays out. But I don't think the future is set in stone. Whatever Decree saw, whatever he's told you… it's your choice on whether you want it to happen. If you don't want—" she cut herself off, _if you don't want to be with me like I want to be with you_. "If you don't want it, fight for what you do want. You can do anything, Barry. Anything. Even change the future. I believe in you." Now face to face, she placed a hand on his arm, her sparking fingertips momentarily forgotten.

Barry stilled at her touch and took a deep breath. His tensed body relaxed and the crazed look left his eyes.

"Well, Barry, you're probably feeling pretty dang bad about taking this all out on Ella now," Cisco deadpanned, though looking at the two of them he remembered something. "Question, how do you feel right now, Barry? Does it… burn where Ella's touching you?" At those words, Ella jerked her hand away from his arm with bewildered eyes. Barry stood there with a puzzled look on his face, looking down at his arm, where moments before Ella's hand had been.

"What? Why would you ask that? Have I burned you, Cisco? Oh my God, I'm so sor-" She began immediately, backing away from Barry and Cisco, who quickly ran over to comfort her. She brought her hands up in horror, as tiny little bolts ran across them.

"El, no no no, I didn't mean BURN burn, but _burn_. In a good way. Like, warm and comforting, but it throbs, but in a good way; it grows and gets stronger in how far it hits, like it's a burning pulse," Cisco tried to reiterate, "Eh, bad choice of words. Definitely good though."

"I did something good?" Ella questioned in shock, freezing in place. She looked over at Barry, whose face now lit up in a smile.

"You don't know how… how overwhelmed and stressed I felt before you touched me, but like Cisco said it burned but not BURN burn, but it felt good. It was low and soothing and radiated… thank you, Ella," Barry answered, rubbing his arm.

She flushed at the positive attention and muttered, "Anytime." Ella wished there was someone who could touch her and make her relax, but she was glad she finally did something for good tonight.

"Before we wind down and call it a day, I wanted to tell you what I found in Ella's blood," Caitlin put in, and everyone's attention turned to her.

"So it seems one aspect of Barry's speed force honed in on Ella and completely changed her on a molecular level, therefore the best explanation of Ella's ability to turn into lightning. The components in her blood have changed, displaying an abnormal amount of Speed Force just... in her. Her silver blood is a side effect of the dominance of it. We need to run more tests to see what kind of effect it can have. The energy from it is what's keeping her alive and allowing her internally to function and the things that would normally not be able to function under this circumstances, have adapted or changed. The human body is extraordinary."

Ella shook her head in disbelief, unable to wrap her mind around what was going on inside her. "I know I'm not super smart like you guys, and this might be all in a day's work for you, but this sounds absolutely insane."

"No, you're pretty unique, Ella, and that's utterly exciting," Cisco said, clapping his hands together. "So, I was figuring Bolt might be a good name for you. Maybe. Because you, you can turn into a lightning bolt… okay, we'll discuss this later." Disappointment crossed Cisco's face when Ella sent him a look for his prattling on.

"Bolt's kinda cool, Cisco, but I feel like I shouldn't drop dead exhausted when we're making decisions on my superhero name," Ella replied, trying to make up for the look of exasperation she gave him.

"Fiiine," Cisco whined but with a smile, and added, "Yeah but I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to go home. I've got some zombies calling my name and it's in everyone's best interest to not keep them waiting."

Everyone else murmured their agreement and Ella froze, having no idea where she was sleeping tonight.

"Do you want me to drop you off at your parents, Ella?" Caitlin asked, standing up and smoothing out her skirt.

But the other girl was already shaking her head. "How can I… when I'm like this?" She answered with a question of her own. They wouldn't recognize this murdering girl that will claim to be their daughter. "I can't let them see me like this. I have to be able to at least… look normal. That's all they really want in the end," She said the last part sadly. She was always an object of disappointment to her family but she tried to keep it together for them, for she knew how hard it was for them when they meet up with old friends and they're talking about their child getting a bachelor degree in physics or about to graduate medical school or something… and they have to put a positive spin on Ella dropping out of college to own a bookstore.

Ella looked down, but she could see the others sharing a look. "My apartment's a bit small, but my couch is always empty," Cisco offered and Caitlin nodded for same predicament.

Barry shook his head at them. "Ella, you can come stay with me. Iris' room is still open and Joe wouldn't mind if you stayed a couple days. I can help you adjust to your new powers and you wouldn't have to hide any of it from me or Joe."

Relief filled Ella as she replied, "Thanks, Barry."

A chorus of goodbyes and goodnights echoed around the lab and everyone started to clear out.

Ella looked at Barry, waiting for him to show the way to his house.

A grin grew on Barry's face. "I'm going to show you how I travel." And in a flash, she was in his arms and they were gone.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Holy! Crap! Barry!" Her words punctuated from being out of breath, having the unexpectedness and sight of traveling at superspeed taken her breath away. They stood in the living room of Barry's house.

Joe peeled over the newspaper he was reading at the newcomers and stood up to greet Ella. One look at her and he knew she was the one responsible for today's drama, and considering Barry had brought her to his house, he knew he now needed to the full story.

"Sorry, El," Barry said with the same cocky grin he had on his face when he picked up Ella at the labs and watched as confusion turned to shock as he ran.

"Sorry!? Sorry's not gonna cut it. I can't tell if that's the ceiling or the floor," Ella complained, leaning against the closest thing she could find. Thankfully for her it was a wall.

"Pretty sure there wouldn't be couches, or rugs, on the ceiling, you know," He replied, shrugging, and Ella wanted to slap him in the nicest way possible, but he seemed to know for he stood a little too far out of her reach.

"Come a bit closer so I can slap you," She said, reaching out a hand to him, but decided to slide down the wall to sit instead.

"You're going to be okay," Barry downgraded his grin to a smile, squatting in front of her.

"I know," Ella brought her eyes to his, meaning that for this moment and forever.

Joe cleared his throat and Barry stood up again, beginning to help Ella up from the floor as well.

"Hey Joe, I'm pretty sure you know Ella, and you know, vice versa," Barry said as he and Ella joined Joe on the couch.

"Hi, Detective West--" Ella began.

"Please, it's Joe. I'm not in uniform. Good to see you up, Ella. What brings you to our home this fine night?" Joe cut her off, correcting her.

Ella looked at Barry, slightly panicking that it might not be okay she stayed for a couple of days, but he didn't look concerned.

"Well, she woke up today and has spent some time adjusting to her new powers," Barry tried to sum it up cheerfully, though there really wasn't any good way to do so.

Joe just nodded thoughtfully. "So I'm assuming, from the times I saw you while you were in the coma, that you can do something with lightning. Like strike people down. And the fact her hands are sparking… I'm happy you're here and all, it's nothing against you, but are you okay to be here?"

Ella's face held shame as she tried to speak, but Barry cut her off, "Ella's fine to be here. I've… I've had the same thoughts and she will be fine."

But Ella just had to keep apologizing. She hoped that it might lessen the weight of guilt she felt but so far no luck. "I'm so sorry about the things that happened at the mill, Joe… I-"

"I really don't want to know more, as a cop," Joe cut her off, eyes flashing a warning. He continued, "So as long you can promise innocent people won't get hurt again, things should be good."

Ella bowed her head, not knowing what else to say.

"Still not explaining why she's here. Again, not that I might you're here…" Joe added for Ella's benefit, before waiting for an answer.

"I gave her Iris' room for a couple days. She doesn't want to see her parents yet," Barry explained.

"Do your parents even know you're awake, Ella?" Joe asked, and he watched as she shook her head.

"I don't want them to know till I can somewhat control this. I might hurt them…" Ella explained, stressfully playing with her earlobe.

"Well, of course, you're welcomed here, but telling your parents sooner than later is something you should do," Joe replied, before standing up. "Well, Bear, Ella, I'm going to bed." Joe gave Barry a long look, causing the son to raise his eyebrow, before adding, "Barry can help you set up Iris' room. There might be some of her old clothes in the closet."

"Thank you, Joe," Ella said before he left the room. She had a feeling she might be saying that a lot to him.

"Anytime."

Barry and Ella found Iris' old clothes, but 'old' was a definite description. Apparently Iris thought all the clothes she had in her recent (recent being the past 16 years) was worth taking with her. So she borrowed sweatpants and a shirt from Barry and called it a night.

They quickly went their separate ways, leaving Ella alone curled up in the bed. She found she didn't like being alone. Her fingers lit up the room but she was glad she didn't catch anything on fire. She wondered how something that so far has caused destruction, could actually soothe people? Ella was wishing again someone's touch could soothe her like apparently hers can… and then she thought of Barry. Flushing, though she was alone, she forced those thoughts out of her head.

It was evident Barry didn't want to future Decree spoke of… of them together. It was one of the things he felt like he had no control over. But, she thought, does anyone have control over it? She believed what she said earlier. Most people have the freedom seeing their future play out. Barry, or herself, didn't.

Ella was exhausted and every bit of her body told her to lay down and shut her eyes, but something kept her on high alert. She felt safe here… Barry was just one room over. But what was rising the hairs on the back of her neck?

A gust of wind chilled her to the bone and craned her neck to see behind her, for she saw nothing before her. She tried to brace herself for what she was going to see, but really nothing could.

In a full body black suit, Ella could only see the pits of his dark eyes. He stood there, not saying anything, and she was frozen in terror, unable to call out for Barry.

Finally the man said, "Ella." It sounded like he was in shock, but she couldn't fathom such a scary person ever being in shock.

"I-I-I-I" is all Ella could get out in response.

"Ella, my love. You're alive. Of course… Ella," He reached out for her, but she flinched away. "You know you never have to be scared of me." He took a step back because it was quite obvious she was.

"I-I-I don't kn-n-now you," She stuttered, slowly her mind began to unfreeze and she was happy for once that her lightning was rather uncontrollable, because that was all it took to direct a bolt towards him.

But he effortlessly blocked himself with a wave of his hand. She heard him take a breath, and a smile in his voice when he spoke, "That might be the case for now, but not for much longer. Enjoy your time with the Flash, it won't last long. And you will hate me for not taking you sooner, but all in due time, my love."

And then he was gone.


	5. Back From The Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ella adjusts to being in the West home and is given a pair of powering dampening gloves from Cisco. After finding out her bookstore has been sold and meeting its new (attitude filled) owner, she goes to confront her parents and is caught up on how the world sees Ella Peterson. As well, Cisco makes a new friend and Oliver Queen calls Barry about a looming threat to Central City.

The moment Ella was able to breath was the moment she imagined Barry's room, and in an instant there she was. She landed right in front of the dresser, where she spent most of the time when she was in his room earlier.

Ella spun around, crying out, "Barry!" but he was already on his feet, his bare chest braced for attack. He relaxed when he realized it was her, though then his eyebrows scrunched with worry.

"Ella, what's wrong?" Barry asked, his voice low with concern. He came to where she was, placing a hand on her shoulder in comfort. The sight of him shirtless and with his sweatpants hung low on his hips, would normally only be a sight for her dreams, but that was the last thing on her mind.

"This-this-this man…" Ella tried to speak, but her voice shook like her body did. She put a hand to her mouth and fell against Barry, feeling like she needed someone to hold her tight to keep her from breaking apart. He wrapped his arms around her, causing her head to fit in the crook of his neck.

She breathed in Barry a moment before she continued on to his chest, "In all black, suddenly appeared in my room. His eyes were black, like… like his soul was black. He knew you… and he knew me. How does everyone know me!?"

Ella could feel Barry stiffen next to her. She took a breath and pulled away, feeling safer with Barry.

"Zoom," he said with restrained anger. "Zoom was in your room? What did he say?" His eyes bore into hers, with a fire she'd never seen with him.

She swallowed before answering, "He came in and stood there and just stared at me. Then he said 'Ella' like he hadn't seen me in a while and it was a shock. I tried to tell him I didn't know him, but he said it wouldn't be that way for long, and to enjoy my time with you while it lasted." Ella dropped her face in her hands before finishing, "I have no idea what he meant, Barry! Zoom, I guess."

Barry took a breath, trying to control his emotions. In a harsh voice, he asked, "Wanna know a secret?"

He didn't wait for Ella, who knew more secrets than she knew what to do with, to reply.

"There's currently a breach that connects us to a different universe. And that's where Zoom comes from. He's hell bent on destroying me and becoming the Fastest Man Alive. Though I don't know why he's trying so hard, he's already proven to everyone how I can't beat him," Barry paused, bitterness etching its way into his voice, before he shook his head, "Anyways. There's doppelgangers of us in Earth 2. Maybe yours meant something to him. They're can be... opposite of what we're here."

"Has this breach always been there?" Ella asked, her eyes wide. She couldn't quite grasp yet what he was saying. There's no way…

"No… I created it, by accident. This is all my fault. Long story short: I can time travel, and I tried to go back and save my mom," Barry admitted, his eyes downcast as he told Ella one of his biggest regrets. "And I made a deal with an enemy from my future, but future me showed up as present me was about to save her, right in front of past me, and told present me not to do it. So I didn't," he swallowed, his voice thick with that last admission.

Ella was quiet as she tried to comprehend what he was saying. All the 'future me's' and 'past me's' and 'present me's' were all so confusing. She quickly decided it didn't really matter in this moment and said quietly, "I'm so sorry, Barry." Her eyes were steady on his face, though he wouldn't look at her. "I can't even imagine…"

Barry swallowed and finished his story, "When I got back, a major fight ensued, ultimately causing the breaches. Soon we started to meet metahumans from 'Earth 2' and eventually Zoom. Harry and Jay came around that time. You'll probably meet Jay soon enough. Harry didn't seem to know recognize you from over there, but maybe Jay will."

Ella's face scrunched up in thought. "Are the breaches both ways?" He nodded the answer. "But if he still has connection to Earth 2, why would it matter if I could remember him? Why doesn't he pop over and visit Earth 2 Ella?"

"Because, maybe… Earth 2 Ella is dead," Barry said gently, causing Ella's face to drop as things slowly started to connect in her mind.

"Oh… but he said I will know him. He knows I'm not that Ella, right? I would never…" A look of disgust crossed her face. In another universe, she means something to someone like Zoom? "'My love…'" she echoed his words. "I can't believe I'd do that!"

"You think you're his lover?" Barry asked and Ella nodded to answer. "That is really messed up. But that doesn't change the fact that that's not how it works. You're not going to become Earth 2 Ella just because he wants you to. You're two different people…"

"But what if he knows how to do it? I don't want to be a person that loves him!" She exclaimed, causing Barry's hair to rise with the static she accidentally gave the room from her distress. Ella took a deep breath, recognizing the feeling of being about to lose it, and noticing the way his hair began to float.

"El, that's not going to happen. I won't let that happen," Barry promised, finally meeting her eyes.

There was a knock on the door that startled them both.

"Barry?" Joe called and Barry looked like he was caught doing something he wasn't suppose to.

"It's open!" He replied back and pulled away from Ella, putting distance between them.

Joe peered his head in with an eyebrow raised. "You know that open door rule is still in effect."

"Joe, I'm 25 years old—" Barry began, rolling his eyes.

But Joe cut in with, "And you're still living my house—"

"And that's not even what was happening!" He threw his hands up in exasperation. He felt so pressured to be with Ella in a certain way that he just wanted to push it away, even though he liked being with her. Even though he could see it happening. Then Barry remembered Joe didn't know just how much Ella was supposedly a part of his future yet. He took a breath. "Zoom was here. He was in Ella's room," Barry informed him, his face turning serious.

"He was in my house? No. No." Joe entered the room. His eyes flashed with anger.

"We don't know why he came here, but he knows Ella. Or Earth 2 Ella," Barry corrected himself before adding, "He said he was coming back for her, saying she will remember him soon enough."

"But I'm pretty sure that's not how it works," Joe said, with a question mark in the tone of his voice.

Barry groaned. "Exactly, and… exactly."

Joe rubbed a hand over his head, mulling over the situation at hand. "Well then… we can discuss this more tomorrow. There isn't anything we can do. It's been a long day for Ella. Hell, for all of us," he finally put in and Ella and Barry nodded their agreement.

"I'm just going to let Cisco and Caitlin know what happened." He went to his bedside table and began texting his friends. He glanced up at Ella, who looked completely overwhelmed again. "Are you okay, El?" Barry asked.

The expression cleared on her face and she answered softly, "I'll be okay."

There Ella goes trying to make everyone else around her feel good. "Are you sure?" Barry pushed, but Ella just nodded, so he and Joe walked her back to her room.

"Sleep well," She said with a smile, though she knew she wouldn't be.

But it wasn't the first time she tried to portray something she wasn't in the past five minutes.

Ella wasn't going to be okay.

Ella slept fitfully for the rest of the night. When she rolled over for the millionth time and opened her eyes, she was relieved to see light peeking through the blinds of the window. Throwing the blankets off her, she made her way to the small bathroom tucked in Iris' room.

She hesitated before walking in, as she remembered she hasn't looked at herself in a mirror in months. She braced herself for what she was going to see.

The first thing Ella noticed was the bruises under her eyes, the cheekbones on her face, and the paleness of her skin. Then she caught her eyes in the mirror and saw how hollow she looked. She wasn't fooling anyone trying to act like she was okay, but she was still going to do it the same. Ella never wanted to be a burden to anyone.

As she finger combed her hair, after noticing how she didn't feel her sparking fingers on her head, she thought of the night before. Of Zoom and of Barry. Being absolutely terrified in Zoom's presence and feeling absolutely safe in Barry's arms. And how Zoom seemed to want her and how Barry did not.

Ella closed her eyes to force these thoughts out of her head before she squeezed a little bit of toothpaste on her finger to brush her teeth, wishing yet again when she came in contact with her hands it would calm her.

She tried to think of what today would entail rather than what her life would entail as she showered, and tried to imagine she was washing yesterday away and down the drain. She was calm. She was going to stay calm today. She wasn't going to hurt anyone else. It was like a mantra she was saying in her mind.

When she went downstairs, Joe was standing alone in the kitchen. A cup full of coffee was in his hand as he greeted her, "Good morning, Ella."

"'Morning, De—Joe," She quickly corrected herself, remembering that he told her what he wanted to be called last night. She felt uncomfortable without Barry there, like she was opposing on Joe. Like she didn't belong.

"There's coffee in the pot and mugs in that cabinet," Joe told her, directing her with his eyes and pointing with his own mug of coffee.

"Thank you." She slowly made herself coffee, feeling self-conscience.

"Sorry we didn't have anything of Iris' that fit you. I didn't realize she had enough room in her closet at her apartment to fit all her clothes," He paused for a moment, looking thoughtful, "Though knowing her, it's probably overflowing her closet and taking over her room."

"It's okay, you've done enough already. I'm going by my apartment today and I'll grab clothes," Ella replied politely, tugging at the hem of the STAR Labs shirt Barry lent her last night. She had matching oversized sweatpants.

"You didn't sleep well," He observed, before taking a sip. His eyes were on her.

"How'd you know?" Ella said softly, with a smile, trying to remember how to be social. It's always something she's had to figure out, like she's doing it for the first time each time she does it.

"It's these mad cop skills of mine," Joe joked, coaxing a real smile out of her.

Ella laughed, slowly starting to ease, though she still didn't know what to say, but she wanted to. A thing Ella always struggled with and she was glad that this was what she was worrying about right now. It felt so normal.

"Ella, you know you're welcomed here, right? I trust you… that's part of my cop skills too. I've seen Barry come a long way with his powers and so will you," He put in, with an earnest tone, catching Ella's eye.

She nodded and Joe added, "And it's okay to not be okay. You didn't ask for any of this and it's a lot you've been given. It's almost not okay to be okay right now."

She looked away then and answered, thinking of her parents, "If I act like I'm okay, it gives me hope one day I will be okay." Though in her entire life, it has not happened. Ella almost told Joe about her parents, but it was then that Barry decided to enter the room.

He looked just as tired as she felt. His hair was still damp from a shower, Ella noticed as he made his way to the coffee maker. Shirt tails and collars poked out of brown sweater and black corduroys hung loose on him.

"Well, aren't we a lively bunch this morning," Joe deadpanned, as he rose an eyebrow and took a sip of his coffee.

Barry let the cabinet door slam shut and his mug clang on the counter before bursting out, "I just don't… like that Zoom was here. In our house. That's like, crossing a line or something." He finished the little outburst with a sigh, before putting the cup down and saying, "I need to go for a run. I'm just—I'm going to Jitters. Coming, Ella?" He looked at her, but she shook her head with a bitter laugh.

Raising her silver laced hands, she answered sarcastically, "Yeah, sure, and possibly shoot the barista with lightning for getting my drink wrong? Sounds like a good idea." Plus, she could tell he wanted some space. All Ella has done is add extra stress to Barry and the team since waking up.

Joe snorted, his lips pressed to his mug, and Barry shrugged, "Most people need a shot to wake them up in the morning."

"Yeah, normally of espresso," Ella rolled her eyes and put one hand in her pocket. The other one she used to sip her coffee.

Barry chuckled lightly. "Do you want me to get you anything?" he asked.

"I'd take a venti ice coffee with two shots of espresso," Ella replied, somewhat covering her sheepish grin with the cup of coffee she had in route to her mouth.

"I think I'm learning you have a coffee addiction," Barry said with a smile.

"Hi, my name is Ella and I am addicted to caffeine," She joked.

"Well, I'm heading to the station. See you, Barry. Ella," Joe cut in, patting Barry on the shoulder and nodding at Ella, before walking out of the kitchen.

"I better go too. Meet you at STAR Labs?" Barry asked, and when Ella nodded, he ran off.

Now that she was alone, she took a deep breath and imagined the desk where Cisco and Caitlin sat in the main room. Then she disappeared.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cisco nearly fell out of his chair when the lightning dropped from the ceiling and onto the desk. Ella rolled off the edge and landed on the floor.

"Ow," she muttered, lying on her back for a moment before pushing herself up.

"Bolt! We have to call you Bolt, because that was just… just freaking awesome, man," Cisco exclaimed, awe overcoming his voice. And his face. And the rest of the body. He was wide eyed with excitement.

"I'll think about it, Cisco," Ella said, wiping the back of her sweats off.

"Oh, and sorry… you're okay, right?" He got up and made his way to her, looking her up and down for any visible damage.

She blushed. "Yeah, I'm fine. I guess I just remembered the desk a bit too vividly."

"Is that how it works? You imagine a place and you're there?" Cisco asked, the eagerness returning.

"Basically," Ella answered with a shrug.

"Oh! I have something for you…" He said, ushering her over to where Barry's Flash uniform stood. Another case stood beside it, but a white sheet was draped over it. "I'm not quite finished yet, so no grand reveal quite yet, but these are done and I thought you might want them." Cisco pulled open the drawer at the bottom of the case and handed her a pair of dark purple gloves.

"These will absorb the static in your hands and lessen the energy of your lightning in general. So, with these on, your hands won't spark and your power will be a bit less controlled by emotion," He explained as she pulled them on.

Ella held her hands out in front of her and a wave of relief overcame her. She pulled Cisco into a hug and thanked him, and he made a note of how he didn't even feel her calming touch.

He was a bit disappointed they worked, for he had a lot of things to be stressed about and he wanted to be comforted about them. Though he supposed he could talk about them like a normal person, but really… that wouldn't get him anywhere.

"Barry was getting coffee at Jitters… I'm going to see if I can help him real quick. I'll be back!" Ella exclaimed and in a blink of an eye, a lightning bolt shot through the ceiling.

Cisco stood there in awe for a moment yet again, before whispering, "Wow."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ella landed in the alleyway next to the coffee shop, before excitedly running into the building. She found Barry sitting at a table, waiting for the drinks. His head rested on the table and his eyes were shut. It made Ella smile.

"Hey, Barry!" She said excitedly, touching his shoulder. He was startled awake, but he put his head back down when he saw it was her.

"I thought you were going to STAR Labs," Barry replied through a yawn.

"I did, look!" Ella brought up her hands to Barry's face. He straightened up again and grabbed them. He inspected them, holding them close to his face.

"No lightning from my fingertips and it'll help me stay in control," She echoed Cisco's words from earlier.

Barry smiled sleepily and put her hands down on the table. "That's really cool, El."

"Barry!" a barista called his name and they both went to the hand of plane to get their drinks.

Ella handed his drink to him, but not before reading the label. "Dang, Barry, six shots!?"

"I didn't sleep last night. Like, at all," He replied before taking a sip of his bitter drink. "I was going to stop by STAR Labs before going in to work, but I think I might go in early and take a nap."

But then his tired eyes suddenly perked up, causing Ella to look behind her. There a women stood in cut off jean shorts and low cut tank top. One side of her hair was buzzed and the other fell into a pixie cut. A hand on her hip caused her top to slide up, revealing a sliver of skin. Her other hand held a phone that she was intensely staring at. And Barry was practically drooling at her.

"Faye!" the barista called the name and she perked up, walking over the counter.

"Barry," Ella muttered quickly before she came by, to bring Barry back out of whatever disgusting place he'd fallen into, but the smirk on Faye's face told her she liked the attention. She bumped Ella's shoulder before making it to the counter.

Barry returned with a less enamored look on his face, but the damage was done. Ella felt herself shrink inside. It didn't help when the women came over and leaned an elbow on their small table, blocking Ella from Barry's view. She glared at the back of Faye's dark hair.

"You know, I'm just gonna be real… I know you from somewhere," Faye stated, her eyes boring into a tongue-tied Barry. She sucked her cherry red lip and tapped it with a black nailed finger, exaggerating just how hard she was trying to remember where they had met before… but Ella knew she knew exactly where. Faye knew Barry and how to play him. His cheeks weren't the only place blood was rushing.

But Barry had no clue.

"I-I-I d-don't…" he tried to speak, but his mouth went dry and words failed him, causing Faye to light up in a sultry grin. She leaned in ever so little, lips slightly parted. She shrugged and pushed herself off the table.

"Mmm… maybe I'm wrong. But I wouldn't mind if I did know you…" Faye said. Barry swallowed, his face lighting up in excitement. She added, "They call me Faye."

Ella bit her lip and turned away, unable to watch him make an even bigger fool out of himself. The barista at the counter gave her a sad smile, having watched the whole encounter. Was her heartbreak written across her face?

"That's Barry, and I'm Ella," she unexpectedly, even to herself, spoke in a cold voice. "Barry, it's time to go. You'll be late for work." Ella could hear her own jealousy and she hated herself for it. And if she could hear it, so could Faye. Just like an animal, she pounced on Ella's insecurity.

Ella wished she was still in her coma. She wished her body had just waited 24 hours to bring her back. And maybe she would have never come in contact with this women in front of her. Maybe she could have controlled her powers a little bit better and maybe Barry wouldn't be so against loving her.

Faye finally turned to her, with icy eyes matching Ella's tone. "Whoa, jealous girlfriend alert. You might actually be pretty if you weren't so green. You do realize he's allowed to have friends, that you don't own him?"

"She's not my girlfriend," Barry blurted, finding his tongue at long last. Those words caused Ella's eyes to sting and throat to close.

"Ooooh, but it looks like she wishes she was," Faye snickered. Finally, Barry looked at Ella and his humanity came flooding back to his eyes.

He stiffened, falling out of his lust-filled reverie. Even with the gloves on, the air in the room suddenly got dry. He gave Ella a look. Did she wish she was his girlfriend?

"El, um—" Barry turned back to Faye, "Listen, Faye, it was good to meet you. I'm sure we'll see each other around, but Ella and I, we, uh, we have a thing, and we're going to be late if we don't go. Right now." He grabbed Ella's arm pulled, forcing her to move her frozen body.

"Oh, I'm sure. I own the bookstore across the street. Used to be Addie's Bookstore? I'm going to completely redo it. It was sooo outdated and disgusting. See you around," Faye waved her fingers and sauntered out the front door.

Once outside, Ella jerked her arm away from Barry and stomped over the alleyway she appeared in earlier.

So many emotions swelled inside her, but then she froze and gasped, as Faye's last words sunk in. "Did she say Addie's Bookstore?" Her eyes went wide and she only felt one thing: terror.

The next instant, she was standing outside her bookstore. She peered up at where the 'Addie's Bookstore' sign in thick, block lettering should be and instead saw 'It's Your Fate Bookstore' in slanted, cursive writing. In that moment, Ella didn't care if anyone saw her use her power.

"No," she could barely whisper the word. "No."

"Ella…" Barry was right behind her. He wanted to comfort her, but didn't know what to say.

She covered her mouth with her hand, to keep the tears pushed in and then took off towards the alleyway.

"Ella, wait! What are you going to do?" Barry asked, catching up to grab her shoulder.

"I'm going to see my parents," She answered in a barely restrained voice. She swallowed and tried to breathe through her nose. Ella never loses it in front of anyone, but she was currently so dangerously close.

"El, let's talk about this first. Anger and control don't tend to come hand and hand," He suggested cautiously, "And you're currently really mad and you don't have a lot of control over your powers yet."

"You don't have control over your dick and yet you go out in public. What the heck was that, Barry?" Ella suddenly screamed at him, all the emotions flooding her at once. "You were drooling over her. And I resisted the urge to wipe that smirk off her face, didn't I? I can control myself in front of my parents," Ella finished through clenched teeth.

Barry paused in shock, feeling like everything he ever knew about Ella was shattered.

"I wasn't- I didn't- she was just…!" Barry tried to defend himself, blushing, but he shook his head. Other matters at hand, but he didn't even know what else to say. He was speechless. He'd never seen Ella react like this before, and it was a normal reaction… for a normal person. She was so far from normal, though.

And then something softened in Ella's face and she took a deep breath, momentarily shutting her eyes. "I'm sorry, Barry. The bookstore is everything to me," _you're everything to me_ , she continued internally. "And she somehow took it from me." _and she's everything I'm not, and you liked it_. But she kept that last bit to herself.

Barry ran a hand through his hair, trying to compartmentalize the issues at hand. "I'll go with you to make sure—" but Ella was already shaking her hand at what Barry was saying.

"You being there would just make everything worse right now. I'll be okay. Tell me…" She hesitated before asking, for she truthfully didn't want to know. However she needed to. "Did my parents come visit me? Ever?"

Barry went quiet, thinking about how to sensitively put that they didn't visit much. Ella had been in their care for many months and they only came a handful of times.

But his silence answered the question enough for her. "They probably wished you had let me die," She said in a broken voice.

"No, Ella. They did visit. It wasn't often, but they did…" Barry tried to comfort her, but it really wasn't a good situation. He didn't realize how badly her parents had affected Ella.

"Barry, I don't think they ever wanted me, but how would it look if they abandoned their child?" Ella asked, thankfully rhetorically, because Barry didn't know what to say. He had a sudden wave of longing for his mom. He never questioned whether he was loved or not… "I just need to get this over with. Maybe I'll give them what they want."

And with that, Ella shot up to the sky and suddenly Barry was standing alone. He took a worried sigh before glancing at his watch. He was suppose to be at work 10 minutes ago.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ella anxiously played with tips of her gloved fingers as she made her way across the sidewalk and the stairs of her parent's home. She paused at the door and waited over a minute till she rang the doorbell.

And then she forgot how to breathe.

"Pardon me, Cheryl—I'm so sorry for the interruption! You were the only person I was expecting this morning…" Ella heard her mother's muffled voice through the door and she almost cried. But she kept herself together.

No more crying, she promised herself. She thought of Cisco when she thought that, superheroes don't cry.

The door bursted open and her mother snapped, "What?"

Ella didn't know what she was going to say till the words fell out of her mouth. "Hello, Mom."

A scream escaped her mother before a hand shot up to cover her mouth. "Donna!? Donna!" Cheryl called from behind her in concern, but Donna's eyes widened in panic and she yelled behind her, "I'm fine, Cher—just one moment. It's—it's… just one moment."

Her mother slammed the door shut, pushing Ella back as she came out. Donna suspiciously looked around before turning to her daughter. "What the hell are you doing here?" she hissed, just inches from her face.

Ella swallowed, slightly taken aback. "'Oh my gosh, Ella, you're out of your coma! I'm so happy you're out of your coma!'" She mimicked sarcastically what her mother should have probably said.

"They said… those idiots at STAR Labs said you were braindead," Donna tried to defend herself, but she swallowed and her eyes darted. She was lying.

"Cut the crap, Mom. You and Dad have always hated me! This is just the first chance you've had to get rid of me since I never wanted to leave Grandma's bookstore!"

"Hated you? Please, Ella, that's so childish. You are so-" Donna began, rolling her eyes.

"Well, you never loved me," Ella wanted to yell it at her, but it only came out in a broken whisper. She sniffed before adding, "Grandma's the only one who ever loved me and you sold it! You sold her bookstore. That meant everything to her and everything to me! Why would you do that?"

"You are… you are legally dead," Donna said, finally looking slightly regretful. Or maybe she was just regretful just for the fact she got caught. A look of horror on Ella's face caused her to quickly add, "It's surprisingly very easy to make someone dead. A couple hundred bucks and a Jane Doe." Her mother winced at her own words, but Ella couldn't fathom why. Perhaps her words didn't sound so awful in her head?

Nonetheless, they were.

"Listen, Cheryl's here- you remember her- and I should really get back…" Her mother tried, her body as stiff as a board. She kept glancing back at the door.

"What do you expect me to do now?" Ella asked, wondering if this was it. She should just take her death and go. As much as she fought for her parents, it was a losing battle.

"Well… I never expect you to make it out of that coma!" Her mother finally admitted, exclaiming in a loud whisper, glancing to the door behind her.

Ella didn't say anything, deciding what to do next. Letting go of her parents was a huge decision, though really the only choice. It was against her code to overstay her welcome. She was about 24 years into that overstay.

"And then… then you almost killed us! Lightning coming from your hands, from the ceiling! You're a freak now more than you ever were before. You're not safe, and then I saw the incident at the warehouse! You're a menace and shouldn't be on the streets," Donna said in a rush, as if these reasons justify her actions. Then she sighed dramatically, "But if you leave now, and never, ever return, I won't turn you in. I'll even give you a box of your clothes that are packed in your old room."

Turn her in? She was dead! Give her back her clothes? They were hers!

"Okay." Ella's voice was emotionless when she finally gave her answer and Donna visibly relaxed.

"Good. Good, I always knew there was some common sense in you. I will go get your clothes, so you can leave. Oh, and that damn cat."

Ella long learned her mother didn't have a filter, but tonight she was on fire.

"You still have Leo?" Among the burning anger she felt for her mother, cold relief began to intertwine.

Donna shook her head in disgust. "Your father formed a bond with it, but all it does is lay in your room and yowl."

She gave Ella one last look before returning inside.

"Oh, Cheryl—again, I apologize. It's… DAV. I'm donating Ella's clothes in memory of her generous heart. It's what she would have wanted! They're up in her old room. I'll be right back," Donna said as she slipped in and quickly shut the door behind her.

"Oh, Donna! You are the sweetest soul," Ella heard Cheryl's cry through the door.

Ella had half the mind to walk in the house and call her mom out on her bull crap, but she just felt so defeated.

They might not be legally dead, but they were now dead to her.

Her mother opened the door and kicked the box out, a yelp coming from inside. Then Donna slammed the door shut without another word, leaving Ella alone to say goodbye to all she's ever known.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Ella arrived back at STAR Labs, it looked like she was ready to pass out. Cisco's look of utmost concentration smoothed into a look of concern. She gently put the box she was holding on the ground and, much to Cisco's surprise, pulled a cat out. Leo rested against her chest, tight in her arms.

"You okay, El?" Cisco asked, relieved she made it back in one piece. Though he was thinking of a way to sensitively ask if all that she encountered today was still in one piece, and then he raised an eyebrow. "Made a little friend today?"

"My parents killed me. They literally killed me," Ella answered, shaking her head in disbelief. She put her back to the desk and slid down till she sat on the floor. Sitting cross legged, she stroke Leo as he purred against her.

Cisco saved what he was working on and joined her on the floor.

She looked at him when he sat down. "They found a Jane Doe somewhere and paid a coroner to declare me dead." She then brought her cat to face him. "This is Leo. He's my cat. I had him… before. My parents kept him."

Cisco whistled. "And I thought I had parent problems." He scratched Leo's soft head, the purrs vibrating his hand.

Ella smiled sadly. "Yeah, pretty sure my parents are going to clean out the Worst Parent Awards of 2015." She shrugged before adding, "It's almost a relief. I spent most of my life trying to get them to love me. Now I'm dead."

"Well, you look pretty damn alive to me," Cisco replied, shrugging. "And... there's a plus side to this: you transported a living creature with you!"

A real smile fell over Ella's face, as she realized the last thing was true. She hadn't even thought of the fact she had never transported with anyone yet. Maybe one day she could take people with her! But then Ella thought how badly it could have ended up for Leo and gave him extra scratches around his ears. 

Cisco jumped up, excitedly, then. "I got the prototype of your suit done!"

Ella jumped up too, careful with her cat, wanting to push down her unhappiness, and not let Cisco lose his. He no doubt worked hard on this, and she would admit, that she was pretty dang excited for the suit.

"Cisco, this is amazing. Thank you for doing this!" Ella exclaimed excitedly when they both stood before the case that stood next to Barry's, which held her suit.

"Don't thank me yet! You haven't even seen it," Cisco said, but he smiled anyways.

"Cisco, you are such a genuine person and you care so much about little details in other people's lives. I'm going to love this, I know it."

"Well, drumroll please…" Cisco replied, blushing at the praise and a tad bit nervous now that he really got Ella wrong and she'll hate the suit but being Ella she'll never say.

He took a breath and pulled the covering off the case. He immediately looked over at Ella to see the first look that crossed her face.

And it was happiness.

Ella's suit was the color of purple grapes with accents of silver. It looked like it was made of leather and would snug her body. It came with a mask that covered her eyes and gloves that she already wore.

"The suit is like the gloves I already gave you. They will absorb the excess static and the energy of your lightning, making both things more manageable." Cisco introduced the suit and then asked, "How'd the gloves do today?"

Ella sighed, thinking about the way she reacted to Faye. And the things she said to Barry. "Probably saved a couple lives today, specifically Barry and his new girlfriends'," she answered, voice filled with chagrin.

"Barry's new girlfriend?" Cisco echoed, noting the look of sheer heartbreak on Ella's face.

She sighed deeply again, but shrugged it off. "It doesn't matter. It's his life… his choice."

Something ached in Cisco's heart. "It looks like it matters to you."

"What matters to me has never truly mattered. The only things I truly cared about have died or been stolen from me. Or will never love me back," Ella admitted softly, nervously playing with the tips of her gloves.

Cisco paused and said, "Never say never." It was the most cliché thing in the world to say, but it didn't make it any less true.

The room was quiet as Ella admired Cisco's hard work. "I think Bolt is a pretty kick butt superhero name," she finally said with a smile.

"Is Bolt the official name?" Caitlin asked, peering over her clipboard as she walked into the lab.

Ella looked at Cisco. "Yeah. Yeah, I think it is."

Cisco grinned and Ella thought, _I could possibly love seeing him smile_.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The walk up to Cisco's apartment that night was like one of those dreams where you're walking down the hall and the door at the end of it never gets any closer and you spend eternity trying to get to the damn door, but to no avail. He was tired. He threw himself into making a suit for Ella and barely slept the night before in the process. He was ready to pull on sweatpants and unwind by killing some aliens.

Finally, after a thousand years, Cisco makes it to his floor, but to his surprise, there is someone waiting outside his apartment. Her back leaned against his door and a lollipop stick stuck out of her red stained lips and her black rimmed eyes were closed.

It's very, very rare a hot girl in cut off shorts and tank top waits outside his door (read: never happens). He checked her out, trying to figure out where he could possibly know her from, but he just couldn't place her. Though he was liking what he saw, especially the pixie cut with the buzzed side.

Cisco almost made it to his door before she finally opens her eyes. Her face lit up in a small grin.

"Well hello, Cisco. You don't know me… yet," She shrugged, pushing herself off the door. "But I'm a seer and I know all about you. I'm here to make you stronger," there was a long pause before she finished with, "You can call me Faye."

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Barry felt slightly on edge with Ella in the room over. After she relived her last moments with her mother, and another slew of 'you're always welcomed at my place, Ella' from the team, she decided to return to his house. Even with her new purple gloves, she had a nervousness that she was going to lose control, and she felt Barry was the only one who could stop her.

After taking off his shirt and pulling on pajama pants, he crawled into bed. Waves of embarrassment washed over him every once and a while when he thought of his day… when he thought of Faye. He had made a fool of himself and Ella's words echoed in his mind, he had been a dick. Drooled over Faye like she was a piece of meat. Though she had ate it up, it doesn't make it right.

But Barry still wondered if Faye had felt the same pull he did when his eyes locked with hers.

He shook his head to the empty room. It didn't matter. The odds of him seeing her again? Pretty much zero. Plus the person he became when she was around? He didn't like that. Though he had to admit he had liked her. Faye seemed wild and unpredictable and she would be completely his choice. But what was so bad with Ella…

Barry's cell phone went off, interrupting his thoughts. He pulled it off charge to see a picture of Oliver Queen on his screen.

"Hello?" Barry said as he answered the phone. He pulled his legs up, cross legged at the end of his bed.

"When were you going to tell me you pissed off a warlock, Barry?" the gruff voice of Oliver started right off.

But Barry was confused. "I… don't know what you mean?" He tried to think what he could possibly mean and… oh.

"An old buddy of mine came in contact with a man who calls himself Decree, who is declaring war on some girl. He told me how the girl was kidnapped and ended up in a coma. But shot and killed one of Decree's buddies before whatever happened to her. Somehow Constantine was able to pop by to tell me what's going on, even though he doesn't have super speed or anything..." Oliver explained, trailing off pointedly. "They're gearing up their forces since apparently the girl is awake now. Do you know where she is?"

"I—yeah, well, she's been staying with me, but for barely twenty four hours. The coma changed her…" Barry began, trying to find the right words to say she wasn't just in a coma, but she had been dead just moments before.

"Did you honestly think murdering a sorcerer, however justifiable it was, would come with no repercussions?" Oliver asked, incredulous, barreling through questions. "You did know Decree got away, didn't you?"

A slight edge filled Barry's voice. "I've kind of had other things on my mind, Oliver, like being responsible for this breach and all those lives destroyed thanks to Zoom… thanks to me. Not mention the fact I have no idea how to defeat Zoom but he can so easily defeat me. Which I didn't need to pop over to tell you since it was on every news source in the country."

A loud sigh bursted through the speaker. "Okay, I get it. You have a lot going on. But this threat is just as real as Zoom. The girl—"

"Ella," Barry put in, sounding frustrated but mostly just at himself. He knew Decree was out there, probably doing something, but out of sight out of mind? He didn't want to think what he was doing.

"Ella, then. Ella has a target on her head and sorcerers are not something to take lightly, Barry. They're not anything like you've ever fought," Oliver cautioned him. "Some of them have been alive for hundreds of years. They have patience and they won't attack till they have a foolproof plan. And if it's been 8 months since she killed him, they've had plenty of time to put something together already."

Barry let out a weighted sigh, which Oliver could hear over the phone. "Barry, there is hope. You just need to prepare. Ella needs to stay confined somewhere safe. Hell, so does Caitlin and Cisco. With magic, the possibilities are endless, especially since I have a feeling they have no qualm about using black magic."

"Has there-have you heard any word of Ella's recovery?" Barry asked slowly, trying to see what could be used as a surprise. He had a feeling Ella wouldn't be sitting this one out, but they were going to have to have a lot to work on in the meantime.

"What do you mean? Other than the coma, was she seriously hurt?"

Barry paused before answering. "Well, considering she originally died, yeah… she was seriously hurt."

"Explain." Oliver demanded, making Barry relive that fateful day yet again. The way Ella's body turned into his mothers and how guilt took over till he couldn't take it anymore.

"A bolt of lightning connected us and I thought she was… going to explode. It ran through her veins and she burned so bright. I finally broke the connection. By this time, Decree was gone. When she looked stable enough, I took her back to the labs. It wasn't long after lightning powers become known. Ella can transport as a lightning bolt and can control lightning too," He finished, before pausing to think. "Well, we're working on the controlling bit. Cisco made some gloves that help with it, but… we had a pretty bad incident yesterday, just hours after she woke up."

Then Barry added, "And somehow she's connected to Zoom. He visited her last night and it looks like Earth 2 Ella was his girlfriend. This is so messed up, Oliver. I'm so screwed." The admission took Barry by surprise, but he immediately realized Oliver was the only one he could tell his insecurities to. He had to be strong for his friends in Central City.

"No, Barry. You are strong enough to do this. You will find a way to beat Zoom. Maybe Felicity and I can come up in a couple days as a pair of fresh eyes," Oliver suggested. "We definitely need a break from what's going on down here."

"I'd take all the help I can get," Barry answered. Some of the anxious knots in his stomach finally started to loosen up.

"We'll see you soon. Keep working with Ella, but keep your eyes open. You have to be prepared for anything," Oliver ended with that and hung up.

Barry put the phone back down on the side table and fell back against the bed, groaning. He knew he would never change his decision to save Ella if given it again, but all the things that have come with her being back… the fear of her losing control, the stress of Zoom threatening to take her, and now this? A group of sorcerers and seers and who knows what else was coming to Central City for revenge.

The whole city was now in danger for something that Barry did. Again.

He looked at the time, debating when he should tell the team what Oliver said, and decided to wait till morning. It wouldn't be too long before they were all back together at the labs. He would give his team one more night free of this new burden, a luxury Barry wouldn't get.

He didn't sleep well that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realized while bringing these chapters from the other side, they needed to be heavily edited. That's why they're taking so long to post, even though these chapters are completely written. And hey... if anyone would like to be a beta reader for me, I'd love it. 
> 
> As always, let me know what you think! Thank you!!


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